He’s moved on. :’(
He’s not what I need, but he’s what I want.
Wouldn’t it be perfect if we knew each other better and deepen our friendship, which then slowly grew into love? And then bump into each other and decide to have adventures and eventually settle somewhere?
Alas, life is never perfect. And I’m an imperfect bundle of insecurities, albeit a lovely one.
Why oh why……?
Yeah do what I need to do, start loving myself properly and everything and everyone around me better. and be happy.
*Update: At least I had the good parts. At least it didn’t sour and wither off. At least it was a clean cut. I have yet to experience a relationship that ripens slowly and allows me to grow equally in other aspects of my life. Sometimes, being in a relationship almost feels like a legitimate escape from all the problems lurking elsewhere. I want to be both strong and weak with my other half. A relationship where someone is firm with me and puts me where I need to be, rather than want to be. A relationship where I can be both feminine and masculine, child-like and wise. A relationship of equal parts heated passion, cool quenching companionship and trusting equanimity. That ain’t easy, and, I want a man who has a right head on his shoulders and would make things happen. Even if he isn’t like that to begin with, he should at least want to be better as I would too.*
*I can never bear halfways*
