I got a haircut once again,
but Wayne refused to give me a bob.
So I get a long pob,
which makes me look adorbs.
YAY! My heart was so light 
In a blink of an eye, I’ve patched up with Z way back in late April and we’ve been in a long distance relationship (minus that one month of ‘are we just friends or more than friends’ period) for 9 months now. Why do I always get that 9 month itch? This time it’s coincidence.
By a stroke of fate , I met up with a senior whom I had a serious crush on a couple of years ago. To my horror, I still have a tiny crush on him, except this time I’m not struck mute by my debilitating adoration for him. In fact, I’m able to strike up a lively conversation due to my increased number of guy friends of all ages and sexual orientation. He’s tall, handsome (debatable among my friends), sporty, brainy, goofy, artsy, fartsy, friendly, adventurous and has a good heart. He’s everything I wished for in a boyfriend — dominant, inspiring and stronger than me in all areas. I bet he never noticed the girl in geeky specs gawking at him from the doorway. But now…do I feel a frisson of excitement whenever he sits beside me? When he rubs his tanned muscly forearm against my goose-bumpy one to check how cold I am (My goosebumps are not just from the cold…)? When he asks me to sit tight and enjoy the ride?
Yes yes yes… ARGH! No no no 
I’m attached. And I’ll never act on this (mutual?) attraction. I’m so occupied by this that things around me seem to be pointing in one direction. In 爸妈囧很大, a Taiwanese talk show where parents and children enjoy a no holds barred discussion on sensitive topics, the subject of 劈腿 or having a steady or sexual relationships with more than one person was broached. In Taiwan, the trend of having 2-4 boyfriends or girlfriends at the same time is on the rise. Most people rationalise it by saying they’ve been cheated on before and therefore justify their own cheating. Some do it because they gain an ego boost and benefits from multiple parties. A few treat the first boyfriend or girlfriend as a back-up while pursuing promising relationships, coined 骑驴找马. The mums and dads on the other side were horrified. So was I.
Still. I can’t help feeling a little twinge of regret. Did I jump into the relationship too quickly before considering the commitment and the possibility of holding out for another 2-3 years before we can be in the same place permanently? So far, I’ve been able to brush off the attraction and attention from other guys and stay true to Z. But this one is a different animal. I’m hoping that this is just another passing crush, and we will settle into something more platonic. It’s possible that I’m projecting my ideal boyfriend mould onto him. But relationships is not just about ideals and practical concerns, it boils down to making a commitment and keeping that commitment.
I will go down the long windy road with Z, whatever that brings.
